Best & Stupidest This Week: The UK Wars with Cutlery, Offers Knife-Free Chicken Boxes & Tales of Murder for Dinner

Are you chicken? I mean scared of knives.

Just wondering, because you are what you eat.

And you should be: Knives are extremely scary. I’m talking about eating utensils.

The UK understands — it’s now providing warnings on its boxes for takeout fried chicken.

Yes — it’s that stupid.

Sky News reports:

Special chicken boxes warning about the dangers of carrying a knife are to be distributed to takeaways across England and Wales by the government. More than 320,000 of them – featuring the Home Office #knifefree campaign – will replace the standard packaging in 210 outlets.

Witness “Knife Free” boxes:

Newsflash to the Watchers: Knives were created because people needed knives. They’re tools of use.

It gets better: Like bubblegum wrappers with jokes on ’em or sugary cereal with a maze on the back, the boxes feature true stories of people who were victimized by knife attacks. Because that’s what you want with dinner.

We’re really livin’ in a happy-go-lucky, festive time.

Can we go back to the 80’s? The 50’s? How ’bout the late 60’s — those people were protesting the horrors of war, yet they still managed to be so free they were gettin’ nekkid in the mud at concerts. Not advisable, but among the turmoil, there remained a feeling of fun. Check out the music of the era.

Now so much is…glum.

SJWs’ smiles are upside down. Can’t imagine those revolutionaries Woodstockin’ it. Mud is probably a trigger — spelled backwards, it’s dum. And insulting words are violence.

The morose chicken boxes of knife-free safety (because you can’t be trusted with sharp objects) are being offered at chicken chains Morley’s, Chicken Cottage, and Dixy Chicken. Earlier this year, across 15 branches, Morley’s gave out 20,000 of ’em.

Some chicken joints will display #KnifeFree messages.

Morley’s Managing Director Shan Selvendran hailed the coolness:

“We want to promote being knife free by using custom chicken boxes to deliver the message and start conversations amongst all of our customers.”

And Policing Minister Kit Malthouse praised the boxes’ theme — that very thing for which every hungry hipster hankers…you know what y’all want. That’s right — every box offers that most delicious of preferred culinary companions: “Tragic consequences.”

From Sky News:

[Kit] said they will “bring home” to young people the “tragic consequences” of carrying a knife, and “challenge the idea that it makes you safer”.

He added: “The government is doing everything it can to tackle the senseless violence that is traumatising communities and claiming too many young lives, including bolstering the police’s ranks with 20,000 new police officers on our streets.”

Now let’s get to back to that tremendous tweet.

Enjoy the responses (and forgive the language, please):

One user repented:

Rorschach noted a decline:

I believe Jon Gray’s detected a critical error:

But just so you don’t walk away and think of the dangers of cutlet cutlery all day, I’ll leave you with something else, courtesy of the UK’s Regents Park Metropolitan Police Service. Protect and serves us, boys.

Bon Appétit:

-ALEX

See 3 more pieces from me:

Puppy Becomes A Viral Sensation & It’s No Wonder, Thanks To Her Striking Resemblance To A Famous Artist

At Playboy, #TimesUp: The Woke Rabbit’s New Man In Charge Is A Gay Millennial

Amazing: Police Dash Cam Captures A Plane’s Emergency Landing On A Busy Washington Highway (VIDEO)

Find all my RedState work here.

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